Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i barfeds in our rink
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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