she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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