omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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