my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
