My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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