You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
