I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
