I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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