Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Congratulations! We have a period
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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