youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
