i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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