Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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