his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
