What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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