I heard we made out
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
