Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize