Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize