If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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