i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
