There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize