Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i love accidental penises.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
