every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
