Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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