i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
