Jerry, you need to find god
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just puked most of my soul out..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize