Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
