i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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