1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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