Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
