found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
