dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
