Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
