we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
