oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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