Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
