Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
