Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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