just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
