i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
