you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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