you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
