HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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