You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
