I CAN MOONWALK!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
