Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
