O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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