i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
