she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
wow bdsm is so cute
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
