I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize