how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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