Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize