Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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