I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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