yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
