I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
