It's like a parade of train wrecks.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize