Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize