Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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