We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
