I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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