I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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