He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
