cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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