Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
