He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
