that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
