I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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