The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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